Things happen for a reason – why I am such an odd.

I have met so many people saying I am a weird girl. I do things in a very different way that they cannot understand, but no one ever asks for reasons. I always assume that even if I speak up, I will never be heard, just because I am an odd. But the truth shall be realized.

It is an undeniable that technology has become a very important part of human daily life. I am thankful for what it brings forth to me – living 14K miles away from my family but still talking to them as though they are here. I am thankful for the information the Internet gives me – I know things happening all over the world, I get advice from different sources, and I even learn more about myself. I can use all the good words to praise technology and smart devices.

But I also want to say that I hate it in some ways.

People say I am stingy because I pay very little for my phone bill, too little that I cannot even do anything with it. I have no data, so I rely more on physical maps when in need. However, it seems that I don’t even need a map because I am genuinely good at direction. I don’t pay for data on my phone, so the moment I am not at school, or at home, or at the library, airports, Starbucks, etc. (wherever they offer free Wifi), I cannot do anything. My phone becomes useless, but I feel better.

Stingy. Yes, I am. But let’s talk about the reason first.

What people will first do when they get a chance to stop moving – on a bus, train, while waiting, or just simply sit down anywhere? They take out their phones. I don’t have data for a long enough time – probably my whole life – to have a chance to observe people’s habits when they get to take out their phones.

No one will ever understand how lonely it will be like when I sit down with my friends, looking around, and waiting for them to put their phones down. No one will ever understand, because I am stingy, and they are not. Definitely not.

I feel lonely, because I don’t see my value in people’s eyes when I hang out with them, being the only person not having access to the Internet. I cannot do anything when they don’t want to talk to me and when they stare at their phones – for nothing.

Family. Friends. People are doing the same thing without actually thinking about the consequences.

There are many times when I wander around online to search for cheap phone plan that offers a tiny bit amount of data for a good price. I can afford, totally. But I always give up because I don’t want to conform. It is fine when other people have unlimited data and texts and calls, but I don’t, because I don’t want to be a part of it.

I know my limitation when I don’t have something. When travelling in group, it is harder for me to get a sense of where we are going, because I don’t get to have a real map, and because I am not given the chance to be in charge, “You have no data, Thi. You cannot navigate!” I know my limitation when I have to prepare everything before leaving home, otherwise I would be desperate for a place offering free Wifi to search for direction, or to check an important email, or to tell my Mom I will not be able to call her tonight because I am currently at a club meeting.

But limitation opens doors for great grow. It helps me understand what people need more because I have learned to put myself in their shoes. I recognize that I have to put my phone away when a friend approaching me in the library. I recognize I shall turn off background music to better listen to people talking, which leads to the fact that I don’t even have a headphone or earbuds, because I feel no need to be a cool high school girl want to be one her own. I learn to talk rather that chitchatting. I learn to really listen rather than nodding my head without perceiving the situation. I do, though, taking out my phone to take great photos, to later share with my parents what I have been doing the whole day. I have learned that my family loves seeing my photos, because that is a great way for them to know about my life.

I wouldn’t suggest anyone being an odd. Because I think it’s harder to find friends who share the same interest. But I would suggest people, thought, slowing down with daily activities to actually observe what are happening, what humans are doing wrong, and what humans can do to change this sad reality. An odd feels lonely, most of the time, even when with her boyfriend. An odd will give her closet friends five minute to check their phones before demanding them to focus on her. But an odd will never dare to do that to strangers or surface friends, but she believes that good friendships are built on communication. So she prays to God that they will eventually change.

The problem humans are facing is huge enough that I truly look forward to a revolution in the future. People will one day understand the situation. I know,

You live in the twentieth century, you need to know how to use a smart phone!

But since everybody knows how to use such smart devices, you don’t need to show off every time you hang out with others. Let’s show off something more special, such as being able to put your phones deep in your purses or bags when surrounded by people!

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Albert Einstein

But we human will do better than that. There will be a big change. And I believe in the future.

Being that “odd” – in quotation mark not because it has a different meaning, but because it is simply different.

(Other perspectives) An odd starts its journey. 

I am too used to being an odd that I gradually forget how to blend in. 

And sometimes the Devil in me say because I’m too weak that I try to be a different kind. 

I have never bothered. But oftentimes I would stop and ask why never had my choice been chosen also by someone else. Why never had my thoughts been understood by another odd. 

I have met people who love me just because I am who I am. But I also have encountered those who say, “It is beautiful the way it is,” just to stop me from pursuing more, from satisfying my own desires. The changes on a person’s face when I say what I want to do remind me every time to be secretive about what I love, so that I can prevent other people from discouraging me. 

It is hard to find someone that truly understands. Before, I thought seeing more of the world will give way to more opportunities for me to meet “the odds” that know me by souls. People are, as lovely and caring as I have always hoped, but on the other hand they push me more towards the people I have known for long. They help me understand that there is no place for greedy, that leaving a place doesn’t mean I am capable of leaving the people and the culture. 

Becoming that “odd”, I know how to appreciate what should be appreciated. I know for the sack of life that blending in is important because without it, I live by myself. I did. Everyday I do my best to aquire skills that I believe will get me towards where I want to be, but other days I will let myself be lazy and read a book and stay far from the center of the world. 

I talked to one of the odds today. She, I believe, is no longer the “she” that I have always loved – as a friend. The odd asked me to hang out, and it made my day. 

After all, she loves me the way I am, but I never learn to love her as I used to. What she is doing offends me as a friend, but I never speak up. 

But for I am an odd, 

I know what she feels. 

We, after all, need a friend who understand, not a teacher.