“Are you guys a family?”
*silence* “Uhm yes, I believe so. A dysfunctional one but still, a family.”Joseph Morgan as he talked about his Vampire cast family
I think my family is the same. We are dysfunctional. We don’t have many things that others do. We (probably learned from each other) always fill our home with stuff, and so we hardly ever have a clean kitchen or bathroom or dinning table or living room. My mom always, ALWAYS, forget where I told her I’ll go to in the evening or what school I goes to. My dad is so thin I can see how he’s aging. My sister. Urg! My sister and me are rivals. We quarrel most of the time and we don’t really talk to each other when we are not arguing. We have problems. Many, many problems.
But it was actually hard for me to list the imperfect things my family do. It was hard, because our house fills with joy most of the time. It is a happy place for many days that I am uncomfortable when we disagree for an evening. When my mom scolds me. When my dad frowns at me. When my sister said she hated me.
I think there are no secrets. We don’t do many special things. But we have dinner together. We have breakfast together if I wake up early. Our house is lively because we talk and tell stories and we say what we think. It’s the little things that matter. It’s the little things that my parents do that make me appreciate them so much, and that make me want to become someone who does little things for my parents to show love.
My friend used to say that because I don’t carry the weight of an only child, I have the freedom to do many things my own way. I did agree. I did agree because at the time, my parents were healthy and I was still living with them. Now, though, I think that’s the cruelest thing she ever told me, simply because I do have the weight of a daughter, and the fact that my parents age (of course) when I’m gone to college really hurts.
I have changed a lot over the years, but one thing was significant. I am thinking of helping my parents out when I get a job and when they are close to retirement. Perhaps by having a savings account with money I put in for them. Perhaps by taking them traveling places. It’s hard to not plan for those things, so I just better do it.
What about your family? Is your family dysfunctional like mine? Is your family still your family?