[ DAY 144 ] How wild it was, to let it be

“It was all unknown to me then, as I sat on that white bench on the day I finished my hike. Everything except the fact that I didn’t have to know. That is was enough to trust that what I’d done was true. To understand its meaning without yet being able to say precisely what it was, like all those lines from The Dream of a Common Language that had run through my nights and days. To believe that I didn’t need to reach with my bare hands anymore. To know that seeing the fish beneath the surface of the water was enough. That it was everything. It was my life – like all lives, mysterious and irrevocable and sacred. So very close, so very present, so very belonging to me.
How wild it was, to let it be.”

Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

We were born not because everything has planned out for us. We were born even though our families didn’t know what we would become, even though we would live lives and make decisions that we can’t explain, and even though we are flawed and human.

Everything is connected, and we can only see the dots when we look back, as Steve Jobs once said. We can’t connect the dots looking forward, so we have to live, live as life plays out, live for the presence, so we can look back at one point when the mysteries unfold, and then we feel so grateful for whatever hardships we had been through and whatever challenges. Whatever days of frustration and whatever nights of unexplainable pain. Everything will be just fine.

This is my third time I read this book, and every time, something different stood out. Since I’m going through a phase of uncertainty, I appreciate so much how Cheryl Strayed comfort me with words, saying that I just need to live on, doing the best that I can despite feeling lost many times. I might think of the what-ifs, but I what-ifs wouldn’t make me who I am, it’s the things that I did and didn’t do that brought me to me right now, and me in the future. There are still many things to learn, but living as life goes on is just as important as planning ahead.

Published by Thi Le

Human.

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