I settled down on a three-foot piece of wood log, facing the turquoise water flowing away from the bridge far off north. I could see how fast the river was going, although there was no splashing or white foam when it hit an object in the way. The water was melted snow, and it was so cold that it could crack my skin. However still the river appeared to be, my mind rushed through scenarios when someone might be washed away, drowned deep in the beautiful color. Vulnerable, insecure, I told myself to not go to too close. To not get myself into trouble.
The log was not close to the river but positioned as a midline of a floodplain. The floodplain was wide, and whenever surrounded by such an open space, I imagined myself doing summersaults, even though I had never done one in my life. I dreamed of my boldness to try a new move, to spread my body freely in air and to land smoothly on the ground. I dreamed, and I never tried to make it a reality. The floodplain was flat, man-made or natural designed, with rocks covering the ground for as far as my eyes could see, perhaps to the unreachable horizontal line. Along the sides, trees run in lines. The vegetation was not anything peculiar. It was the sorts you could find almost everywhere in the northwest of Washington. Yet, I stared into the space, inhaled, exhaled, amazed.
We were the only people in a mile radius. On the log, I held the hand of a little boy, while his other hand was busy bringing a mug close to his mouth. He blowed and blowed, eager to taste the thousand-degree hot chocolate. My other hand was also holding a mug, but I did not mind the wait. I thought of how I am exceptionally patient in something but troubled by the long wait in some other facets of life. How I listen to audiobooks at at least 1.25x speed but make no effort in running faster. How I rush through lectures but walk slowly from class to class. How I really want to do A and A needs B but I’m hesitant to learn B.
It has been a while since I went to the beach. I went because I need to leave the house and get that nature cure. Because I want to clear my mind and see the beauty of something beyond myself or my life or my comprehension. Because staring ahead is what I do for fun. I think I need to learn B.