[DAY 16 – fiction] Loneliness kicked in

As the morning settle in, J’s house was still buried in silence. Woke up from the sofa, J chuckled as she remembered her dream last night – it was quite an adventure in which she won against a python in a solo battle. She mumbled every details she could remember from the dream and kept reminded herself to ask Alana about what it meant when she saw her at school.

Yet, however exciting her dream was, reality set a different tone. Mom was no where in sight, and she seemed to be the only one in the world. Shuffled a cheese bagel, she ran off the street to check on the neighbor. She walked the block and halted at every block corner, but strangely she saw no cars in the twenty minutes she were on Front St., the busiest road in town.

No one. J saw no one on that day and every day after that. As school started, she went to class on her own. Every door was open as though to welcome her, but alongside this gentle salutation was isolation. Quietness. Nothing.

“You are the only in this world,” Mom used to say. “My dear daughter, do you have to be so far-reaching?”

Growing up, she never understood a lot of what Mom said. Even though Mom was loving, communication was never her strength. Once when J brought home a cookie she saved for Mom from a school event, Mom was ecstatic. She spread her arms as though to hug J, yet all of the sudden stopped and rubbed J’s head instead. J knew she didn’t have to earn Mom’s love because it had always been present; nevertheless, she couldn’t help feeling neglected.

Days in. Days out. The world was covered in this heavy silence blanket. J tried to do her best in what she loved doing. She ran in the mornings and filled her days with studying and researching. During camp, she learned about seeds and gardening, and with a backyard left alienated for years now, she planted her first seeds. She realized that she was now the best at everything, because it was only her in this world.

She was the best and beyond in the one-person race.




I actually don’t know what J is doing, so bear with me, will you? I think she will go on an adventure, or maybe she will wither and die.

Update: last day of school. It’s graduation day but I didn’t even care. I just ate BBQ pizza and played Skat and watched Father Brown, a detective movie that I found really funny and interesting (and I was the only one who laughed). Rest day from running training. I’m planning a different schedule tomorrow, putting more reading time in.

Published by Thi Le


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