There are two categories of emotions: good and bad. I don’t know if that’s the “standard” way to do it, to consider some emotions are good and others are bad, but people do it all the time. Sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, happy, joyful, scared, stressed, and all the other feelings, they are all perceived as either positive or negative, worth keeping or worth eliminating. Some of the expressions are like ghosts that haunt humans from the past, while others are celebrated.
But isn’t stress a part of life?
Isn’t sadness is a must before you can grow?
Isn’t feeling happy sometimes are so deceiving and overrated that people stop being real to each other altogether?
Hey, how are you?
Hey good, how are you?
How sad is that? When people drop a couple of sentences and walk on, without ever once thinking if the answer is sincere or if the other is actually good?
Lately I have had a hard time describing my feelings, because although I don’t experience sadness particularly or any hardship, I don’t feel much joy. Overall, I’d rate an average number of 5/10, and I really feel this hole of emptiness inside me. I feel frustrated whenever someone say they can’t feel positive and blaming their “bad” emotions , but at the same time I wonder how does one even know how to feel better if one doesn’t know what “better” is like. It’s like how does one know what’s the grade they should get when teachers keep telling them there’s no differences between 90% and 50%, while the ending result is one passing and one retaking the same class.
A mix of emotions is where life begins. It’s where one knows what’s important and how to overcome hardship. I certainly would prefer to feel happy for what I have, but I would still appreciate those “down” days, just because they make me who I am, and only when I am other than this crazy extra happy lady that I can be true with others.
But I really think feeling sad or depressed don’t make you worse or less valuable. This morning, a co-worker of mine said that she wrote when she had a heartbreak or “bad” emotions, but she didn’t show anyone because she was afraid that people might think of her as weak. Seriously, that’s what she said! I really could see where she came from, for all the while she always showed up as the most adventurous and a risk-taker or most wild, with words that of toughness rather than of softness which society thinks to be the only thing girls should ever speak about. Yes, I really know, although not entirely, why she hid her writing despite being a great writer and poet.
But hi there my dear friend, it makes you so much more special when I heard you said about your poems and stories on paper. The words that truly showed me who you are, that you are relatable with your softness inside and your struggles with emotions. It is okay to not show your poets to other peers, but it is not okay to think of your true emotions as weaknesses.
No one is weak when they are honest. No one is weak when they know who they are.