I do have a lot of problems with my faith right now. But I can’t describe how that is. I just know that if I don’t let others hold me accountable, I will fall apart.

I wish I have a mentor that are not my pastors. I can’t even count how many times in the past days I have longed for a good conversation with my supervisor at work. Because they understand what it feels like to work at their place. They are the only people who can understand, yet they decide to have us work a job that doesn’t make any sense. At least to me.

He said I was there for a reason, even though I didn’t feel belonged. And my sense of not belonging is just the kind of mental illness that I don’t want to let go.

I wish my supervisors would ask. I genuinely do. Because I have so much to say, so much to collapse for.

I am so sorry if I am pulling you down.

But honestly, I can’t hold you up at all. If saying that I am not ok makes you feel better, then you’ve got it. Good for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s