Long flight tomorrow

I’m anxious again, by those tiny little things.

I’m leaving Bellingham tomorrow with a final project still hanging on my head. And I am anxious because I’m afraid of what’s lying ahead. Two weeks. Would it be fun? Would it be good? Or would it leave me fear of coming back?

I have no reason for these thoughts, but yes I am still anxious. What would be waiting for me?

My family, of course. But I think that would just be it. My family is great, but I am anxious. They might say something that makes me feel super offended. They might say something that is unsupportive. They might hurt my feelings just because I have been so far away from them. I have been half the world away.

I am sad and excited at the same time. I don’t know what it would feel like being back home again this time — when I am no longer just like me before. I am officially 18, which doesn’t matter that much, but being 18 in a different country means I have changed so much and I am still changing. Would my voice be heard on the dinner table? Would what I think and say matter? Would I be treated as a kid anymore?

I am sad, because I know part of going back, even for just a short time, is to lose a bit of my privacy and freedom. I would wake up and might see a bunch if people in my room, and that’s annoying. But that’s okay.

I would still be excited. I am anxious and I would take it because I know this is a good way to test myself. How would I behave as a child being back to her home country?

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Thi Le

A Vietnamese. An international student in the States. Born a reader and a learner. A writer by will. Recharge in solitude. Aim to grow horizontally and vertically, but not physically. Welcome to my naked world. Hope my words inspire you in some ways, help you know me more and maybe yourselves, even.

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