Walking through leaves

not mine

I have half a page more to finish my History paper. I am freaked out, but I guess it’s ok to just stop for a bit. Just a little bit.

If you have time when reading this post, considering listening to “Walking through leaves” – Laurent Ruaud. I love those songs when you can actually feel as though you are outside with nature, enjoying the sun, enjoying the fresh air. And yes obviously those dry leaves.

I have this love for future that every time I get a chance to be outside, I always think about people back in Vietnam and how I want to bring all these nice elements of the Earth back there. The place where I live doesn’t have any tall buildings – max is three floors – and so I don’t even have to look up (sorry I’m short I do have to look up to see many things) to see sunset or sunrise, and the night sky is always stary.

I hope my parents and Vietnamese friends are here because I want them to see what I love. Is it greedy to want two of your favorites — people and nature — to be at the same place at the same time?

I wrote about happiness in emptiness before, but today there is no happiness. I don’t have the mood to be thankful for anything. I just have this feeling of worthless, although I know I am worthy. For the last 11 days, I went to school for a solid 2 hours because of snow days, of weekends, and of other extra days off. I wandered around my house feeling bored. I barely finish homework. My grades drop noticeably. I have never known myself as a girl who wants to be with people than with herself.

hm.

I guess that’s it for today. I’m feeling a bit weird inside. Not sure if it’s just today or it’s always been like that.

Thank you for those who keep reading my posts. Sometimes I actually feel afraid that my writing is so fragmented that I will disappoint readers, but I guess the point is to be fragmented in order to feel whole. And because from pieces was where I came from, was where this blog became something in the first place.

Thanks again.

Good night,
I’m going back to my History.