The Mansion

I asked for more hours of work, until I realized I couldn’t take no more. Things truly seem to be always easier said than done. When I was younger, I told myself so convincingly that I would only get paid for a job that I love, and I would keep on studying no matter the circumstances. Until the day I understand that was a hard promise to keep.

I worked 17 hours last week. I did not have enough time to hang out with friends or even to call my parents, because I was either at work or in classes. I thought I was so productive that I hoped I could do this every week from now on. Therefore, when I looked at my permanent work schedule for the rest of the quarter and saw my name appeared less with less shifts, I was disappointed. For a moment, I doubted my performance at work, thinking that I was not good enough that my hours should be cut to, leaving space for other better readers.

But I never knew that was a relief God gave me. As in the book of James,

To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

Proverb 16: 1

We humans make mistakes. We try to do everything that we like, but we never even once in doubt if the things are proper. But God does know. I commit myself to him, being humble and patient. I was upset with working less, but I realized he has a plan.

Two days ago was the very first time I went to a Club Fair at my school, and I was fascinated about the diversity of clubs – from academic ones such as physics, programming, or business clubs, to cultural ones like Spanish, Vietnamese, or Japanese association groups. I never realized I have missed out to much that now I don’t know whether I have time to make it up – I will be leaving here this June. Therefore, working less seems to be a good sign, indicating that I will have more and more spare time to go to those interesting clubs.

For one extra hour of work, I obviously will get paid some extra bucks. But does it worth it though? I discussed this with my friend, and he said that spending his teenage years just to work and study, missing out everything that is meaningful, isn’t worth it. Life is more than that. It is more than black and white – it’s colorful with things we can do outside of classrooms and offices.

Black and white and more than that.

I have always thought I would work for the rest of my life, so it is now better for me to be wild, be crazy. For a long time until I actually get an on-campus job, that was what I have always been thinking about. And you can see how my belief has changed in reality. And I am trying to get out of that.

Perhaps on these teenage days, I should be trying my best, but not for money or for materials. It is the time for me to try my best in gaining experience, spreading love, and building my understanding. Every day, I remind myself to choose love, generosity, and knowledge, because I know, with these tools, I will be prosper, I will be wealthy, living in a mansion of love and care, for others and for myself.

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