Happiness in Emptiness

When things keep going out of order, I pray and pray again, but the force of emptiness just seems to be too huge for me to even resist. 

I am not doing well with my academic classes now, because they become harder and harder. I wasn’t able to do my best on my test this morning, and that left me a strong feeling of failure. I wish I would overcome this soon (because after all it was just a test, it really shouldn’t have mattered that much, for I actually tried really hard in class for the whole quarter up to this point). I might not be able to do the best on my last, but I have done my best during the process. 

The Writing Center becomes more and more like a home to me now. 

These are the names I tell myself to remember because I am grateful for having them in my life. 
Dominic – a pretty cool leader who are responsible and knows what to do, but with a kind sense of humor. 
Maya – a serious leader who devotes her full attention to what she needs to do, but when we have free time, she brings a relax atmosphere, especially when she talks about literature. 
Elisa – a pretty cool girl from Venezuela. She cares for me and I care for her. I hope our friendship will grow even stronger. 
Jackson – my first impression: friendly, patient, and knowledgeable. I like doing shadowing with him because of the wise things he tell other students. He makes good comments on people’s essays. He wants to be an English teacher and likes having space for himself. 
Tom – a dude who suddenly one days asked me, “What’s up dude?” I was speechless because I don’t think I look like a dude. But yeah he becomes more and more interesting with great ideas, and I am impressed by his comments about personal statements, which will likely become his main focus study field in the future. 
Emmy – I was upset at first about her because she seemed to not notice my appearance. I was sad because she didn’t offer me candies as she did to others. But Emmy is the person who teaches me to reach out, to talk more, and because she is a good listener, eventually we have more things to discuss about, and that I know her more and more every day. 
Sheri – my boss. I love her. She is understanding, a good listener, and a caring person. I know when I talk about my problems, there will always be someone who understands. 
The list goes on, but these are the people I work with the most during my shifts. 

I learned to be more comfortable working with citation – MLA and APA. The more students ask me about these, the more I know what I am doing. I hope in the future I will no longer have to raise my hand and ask my lead, “Hey do you want to help me with this because I don’t want to tell the wrong things.” I will become more and more active during my shifts, and that I will get rid of what stops others from understanding the real me. 

Thank you the Writing Center for giving such a great opportunity to grow.