Midst

In the midst of everything. 

What do I do? 

That’s the question when there are just too many things to finish and I don’t even know where to start. Should I do my Computer Lab assignment, or should I work on my research paper, and how about writing something for my personal blog. 

I am just lost. I know I need to start somewhere. But where? That scared me. I know how it feels when there is nothing to do. I’m even afraid of boredom, of having free time. There was a time when I kept crying every single day because freedom made me think about negative situations. Now, when I imagine what would it be like when I submitted all of my university applications and homework, and it would take a long time for me figure out what to do. I would be lost. 

In the midst of everything, even though it is stressful – sometimes I cry not because I am sad or angry or disappointed, but just because I don’t know how I am supposed to deal with all my problems. But I love it.

I got annoyed sometimes when I have too many assignments to do, but still stuck at the Writing Center, at work, especially when there is nobody wanting help from us. I always think about how much time I have wasted when just sitting there doing nothing. However, day by day, I learned more and more from the people who go there. It is funny when every time I finish a session with a student, I ask myself how to do mine. I could do others, but not mine! But I love that feeling because I don’t just learn how to write in the Writing Center, but learning how to adjust myself in different situations. It freaks me out sometimes when I have to work with Americans, especially those who seem to know about the subjects more than me. I would always feel like I am no better than them, how do I help? 

The one moment that I love about today is when I was working with this lady on her Tech assignment. I don’t know why she went to the Writing Center to ask for help on Tech homework, but I could help her, and that makes me feel more confident about my own future path! Awesome things happen every day!

But after a while, everything is fine. And I find joy in every moment I was there. Despite the pile of homework and university applications. I found joy in the air of the Writing Center, and in words. 

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